Man of the House

When you look at your home, do you see a wife and kids? Maybe a piece of property that you happen to live in? It is my conviction that when you look at your home, literally and metaphorically, you should see a household. This idea of household is one that is rooted in the bible, as well as various other cultures in history. The household includes the physical people who live in it, but it also includes what that home brings in, produces and sends out, and the legacy it leaves. It is an all-encompassing word. To that end, Paul calls for mature men to be those who are good managers of that household. Let’s look at that.

At the outset, Paul calls us as men to be managers of our own households. The word for manage in the Greek denotes being put over as a superintendent of sorts, the one responsible for the direction and condition of the household. I know we have all had bosses or worked with those who are poor managers. Their employees bad mouth them behind their backs, they are a joke when they try to command others attention, and they never really capture the hearts of their people. They may have some small amount of success in modifying behavior for the sake of a job, but there is no emotional and relational buy-in. A good manager, though, connects with the people on an individual level, not merely getting people to conform to the standard, but to actually love the standard.

Along with this, we are told to be managers of our own households. Some of us are so busy “keeping up with the Jones’s” that we don’t see the hellish conditions of our own family. There is a time for godly encouragement and exhortation for those who are astray but let us never let that take the place of focusing on our own family. God has entrusted you as the steward and head of your family, not anyone else’s. To turn to some practical helps, let’s look to the Proverbs. This collection of wise sayings, largely from King Solomon, are chock-full of golden nuggets of truth that we can cling to in our pursuit of being good household managers.

“The Lord’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the dwelling of the righteous” (Proverbs 3:33). For starters, there is no hope for the proper management of a wicked man’s house. If you are going to manage well, you need to begin by being consecrated, or devoted, to God. This isn’t necessarily a perfect obedience and commitment, because we all sin, but it is a genuine desire to do all things for his glory, in his power, and according to his Word.

“The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears down” (Proverbs 14:1). Next, you must pour into your wife. You must recognize your need to be led by Christ, and then you in like manner must lead her. Take her by the hand and bring her into the throne room of grace in prayer, wash her daily with the water of the Word, and upbuild her through encouragement and compassion. Lead her to Jesus every day, the one who can ultimately sanctify and mature her so that she can help you in a godly way to build the household that God has entrusted to you both.

“Better is a dry morsel with quiet than a house full of feasting with strife” (Proverbs 17:1). One of the predominant ways that men cause tension and destructiveness in their homes is by allowing, or creating, strife and quarrelling. This is not properly leading and managing your home. Through our own anger, pride, and folly, we as men often provoke our children to anger, tear down our wives with harsh words, and sow seeds of bitterness and resentment that ripple out to create generational sin. We also tend to allow strife to exist because of passivity. We are afraid of our children’s disapproval and our wife’s wrath, but if we can’t stand up to them, we will never stand up for them. Be a man who brings peace and order, not strife and chaos.

“The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty” (Proverbs 21:5). Finally, as a provider and caretaker of your own household, you should be diligent, or purposeful, to plan and prepare for the future. Many men fail to take precautions for the future because of impulsiveness and rash decision making, and this ends up eroding trust, confidence, and belief that you are a capable leader. There is always grace and forgiveness in Christ, but there are real life ramifications to the poor decisions we make. If we are to be those who manage our households well, we must be the kind of men who diligently look ahead and prepare for what may come, for the sake of the wellbeing of our family.

In the end, man of God, you have been given a great stewardship. Souls have been entrusted to you. A legacy has been entrusted to you. You have an opportunity to show the world how a Christian man cares for his household. Don’t squander it, for God will hold you accountable.