One-woman man

After surveying what the Bible has to say about the internal character of a man of God, we turn now to the relational dynamics inside the home. For a Christian, there is nothing more important than his wife and children (except God himself, obviously). We are of no help to our families if we are not pursuing Christlike internal character, but that character should work itself out in the way we love our wives and children. And for those who are not yet married, you should be even more diligently pursuing the development of godly character in preparation for loving and leading your future family.

Paul begins his exhortation to Timothy regarding the elders in both 1 Timothy and Titus with the call to live blamelessly, but he follows that in both lists with the call to look for men who are the “husband of one wife” (1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:6). Clearly this is a major issue for Paul, and considering that, it needs to be for us as well. Now this phrase has been the topic of debate for centuries regarding the interpretation we should take of it. Does Paul here refer only to polygamy? Does he mean to say that a man who has been divorced cannot serve as an elder? Does he mean that a man who is not yet married cannot serve as an elder? For our purposes here, I don’t want to belabor the point and try to solve all these issues, because the purpose of you reading this is to mature as a man of God. The Greek words used in this passage shine light on what I believe the interpretation is and how wonderfully and practically it speaks to us as men today. The word used for “one” when referencing “the husband of one wife speaks to the idea of two things becoming regarded as one thing, never again thought of being separated. When we take passages like Genesis 2:24 to heart and consider God’s view of our marital union, we see the powerful and covenantal bond that is now held by a husband and wife that have become one flesh. So, the kind of man Paul is looking for, a mature man, is one who regards himself and is regarded as someone who is permanently and irrevocably connected at the soul level to his wife. How does this affect us on the practical level?

The man whose heart is captured by Christ and who recognizes the power and purity that comes in marriage will conduct himself in a way that is reflective of this belief. For a true one-woman man, his eyes will look upon other women in love as sisters of Christ, but not as objects of sexual desire and pleasure. When you slip, and we all do, it must be a repenting towards God and a gazing at your wife, not a wallowing in pity and indulging even further. For a true one-woman man, the labors and works of his hands during the grind of the 9-5 should be with the mindset that he is laboring for the sake of his bride, beautifying her by bringing home the rewards of his toils to be used to glorify God through the home. For a true one-woman man, the pursuit of his wife’s highest joy above his own is central, for there is no joy to be found at all if the one you are united to is anything less than supremely joyful in Christ. The pursuit of your spouse’s joy in all things will directly affect your joy in all things, and the direct neglect of it for the sake of your own will destroy.

Man of God, you are bound in life to one woman. Just as Christ is betrothed to his one Bride, the Church, and gave himself for her every day on the way to the cross and rose again on the third day and ever lives to pray for her after the cross, so you too must live, die, live, and die every day for your bride. This is your task; this is your charge; this is your duty. Anything less is ungodly and must be repented of. Turn away from failure and towards Jesus. And when he straightens you out and sets you moving as a one-woman man, make sure every day and in every way that she knows it and that God knows it.