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In the past four posts, I have been working through what we here at Kavod Family Ministries call the "Four Pillars." As I have said elsewhere, these are essentially a way of viewing the whole of the Christian life, providing a lens by which you can view your present walk with Jesus and assess where growth and sanctification is needed.
In this final post regarding the basics of the Four Pillars, we will be diving into the idea of 'reigning,' specifically looking at the idea that ruling and leading in your home, workplace, and community is contingent upon your embracing and stewarding the responsibility God has placed upon you. This will admittedly be geared more toward men, but if you are a woman, I am sure there will be something that resonates with you, even if it is simply the impulse to send this to your husband. Let's begin.
Prerequisites for reigning
One thing you may have felt if you read the previous three posts is perhaps a sense of disconnection. Maybe you wondered while reading, "What do each of these aspects of life have to do with each other?" That is understandable because of the way in which each of the Four Pillars was treated separately with its own article. The truth of the matter is that these are less like four independent, arbitrary ideas, but more like corners to a house (or... four pillars). They do not function on their own, separate from the whole.
To reign, as we will talk about here, you have to have gone through a forging process of being shaped and molded by trials and failures. To be forged, you have to have discovered and began walking in the calling God has placed on your life, namely, the fulfilling of the Great Commission, which is going into the world and making disciples of all nations. And to be know this calling, you must be rooted and grounded in the concrete reality of your identity in Christ Jesus; that you are a son or daughter of the King of Kings, and your worth is not found in what you produce or how stellar you are, but in the perfect righteousness of Jesus. There is a building effect. You can't have one without the others.
Think about it like this: In the book of Proverbs, the central theme is summed up in chapter one verse seven, which says, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge." Now to the average reader, this may convey the notion that the fear of the LORD begins the journey to wisdom but is eventually jettisoned as you move on to bigger and better things. However, it is more like the stump of a tree. The stump is the beginning of the tree, but as the tree grows it does not move on from the stump and leave it behind as it grows. It remains fixed firmly upon the foundation of the stump, never abandoning it but always resting upon it as it builds taller and taller. So too with the Four Pillars model we are putting forth; each Pillar builds on top of the previous one. With this in mind, you can see now how the prerequisites for reigning in a godly way are the first three Pillars.
Responsibility
A prolific author and pastor once said that being a man is "the glad assumption of sacrificial responsibility." The first time I read that, it hit me like a Mack truck. That really sums it all up. If we look to Jesus as the quintessential man, in all aspects of his life he gladly assumed responsibility. He took responsibility for his own life, battling sin each and every day (perfectly, I might add). He took responsibility for others, telling twelve men to "follow him," as well as bearing with others in their sicknesses and sorrows. And ultimately, he took responsibility for all of our sins, sins that he himself didn't even commit!
"A called and forged child of God will inevitably be a leader in a particular sphere of influence, and the godly model and role within that sphere is what we call reigning."
If Jesus is the picture of manhood, and his life was marked by sacrificial responsibility at every turn, we too must prayerfully seek to embrace more and more of the same. But what, you might ask, is the big deal with responsibility? I'll tell you. From the beginning of the entire bible, the story of the human race, we see embedded within the entire creation an expectation of male leadership and responsibility. Adam was created first and entrusted with the work of caring for the Garden of Eden, which entailed tending to and caring for the plants within, as well as naming all of the animals that the Lord had created. Eve was created from man and given to be a helper in his labors of gardening and dominion-taking. But with that incredible gift of marriage came the additional responsibility to care for and instruct Eve in what the Lord had commanded them to do. Adam, not Eve, was told which tree to eat from and which tree not to eat from. It was Adam's responsibility to effectively communicate the Lords command to them and the ensure obedience to it. That is why Adam was the one charged with sinning when they both ate the fruit, because it was his responsibility.
In Christ, we have been ushered back to a Garden of Eden-like state of restoration and dominion. In Christ we have the ability to take responsibility for our marriages, our children, and our lives. It is with this foundation laid that we look at the idea of reigning.
Reigning
For a list of what reigning is not, please go and read the blog entitled 'The Four Pillars - an Introduction.' Suffice it to say, there are many things that it is not. What we mean by reigning is simply this: A called and forged child of God will inevitably be a leader in a particular sphere of influence, and the godly model and role within that sphere is what we call reigning. A few examples to illustrate.
I. Reigning in marriage
Let's just begin with one of the more controversial ones. In marriage, there is a clear biblical precedent for male headship and authority. The man is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the Church. But what does this actually look like? Well it isn't just authoritarian laziness that is boiled down to a simple, "Make me a sandwich." If you refer back to the definition of being a man in the section above, it is gladly assuming responsibility for both the health and well-being of your wife and your relationship with her. It is taking up the challenge of discipling her each and every day, leading her with love and respect, laying down your life for her with early mornings of labor and devotion and late nights of talking with her soul-to-soul before bed. It is respecting her calling to domesticity and giving of yourself to equip her in every way to be a flourishing 'household executive' as Michael Foster calls it. This is the picture of a wise king in the home.
II. Reigning in fatherhood
If there is one area that we as American Christians think we have it all figured out but are actually complete morons, it is the area of parenting. From 'hands off' models that are mind-numbingly dumb to the well-intentioned but equally as ineffective legalistic ones, we are succeeding at handing our children over to Satan on a silver platter, but not placing them in the strong arms of a loving heavenly Father. So what does reigning have to do with this? It's simple, really. By taking responsibility for every single aspect of your child's upbringing, from their education all the way to their imagination, you will bring the rule and reign of Christ Jesus to bear upon them in a way that will yield fruit for life. This taking responsibility doesn't mean no freedom. That is often the caricature that is presented, but that is a straw-man argument. Taking responsibility simply means overseeing and being invested in all aspects of your children's lives. From their friends to their hobbies, you have a vested interest in all of it pointing them to Christ and loving others as themselves. In doing this you are showing your children what it is to be a proper and biblical leader, as well as being faithful to the will of God for you as a man. You can't simply lord your position over them without genuine love and affection. You must back up your words of admonition and exhortation with genuine, sacrificial love and support.
III. Reigning in workplace
Because of our societies current structure, most of us will have to go outside the home to labor in an occupation. (Be on the lookout for a future blog on durable household trades). Although this is not the historic way in which the economy worked, it is nevertheless where we find ourselves today. So how can we as ordinary people reign in a godly way in the workplace? Well for starters, you can be an actual Christian at work, not just on Sundays at church. The way you do that is laboring in such a way that people recognize you as a Christian not because of a Jesus fish bumper sticker but because you work harder, lead better, and produce better quality work than everyone else. Long gone are the days where putting bible verses on a fast food bag will cut it. We must become men who lead and reign in the workplace by not only word but deed. You can do this by taking responsibility for your work, as I was just describing, but also by taking responsibility for the work of others. You don't want to be a grunt at the bottom just watching people screw up and never getting any flak because you barely do anything anyways. You should desire to learn and grow into a place of influence and leadership, all the while learning to gladly assume responsibility for the work of others. It is here that Christians can learn to shine in the workplace and have a greater impact for the Kingdom of God.
If you are a man who feels their head spinning after all of this, rest assured, that's a good thing. Better to be disoriented and convicted by the truth than doze off from a belly full of warm milk like Sisera (look it up). This is not meant to scorn you and beat you down, but rather to be a wake-up call for sleeping men everywhere. The time has come for you to arise from mediocrity and effeminacy. The world wants you, your wife, your kids, and your town. It is only by gladly assuming responsibility and reigning well that we can begin to recapture the rich heritage of Christendom that has been left to us. Work hard. Be patient. Trust God. Play the long game. God is faithful, and he knows your heart. Give it completely to him and march on for the crown rights of King Jesus.
Festina lente.
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