God's Tenderloin: Compassion

Psalm 103:13-14

As a father shows compassion to his children,

so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.

For he knows our frame;

he remembers that we are dust.

"...for in the very best of men the Lord sees much to pity, and when they are at their best state they still need his compassion. This should check every propensity to pride, though at the same time it should yield us the richest comfort. Fathers feel for their children, especially when they are in pain, they would like to suffer in their stead, their sighs and groans cut them to the quick: thus sensitive towards us is our heavenly Father. We do not adore a god of stone, but the living God, who is tenderness itself. He is at this moment compassionating us, for the word is in the present tense; his pity never fails to flow, and we never cease to need it." C.H. Spurgeon, The Treasure of David: Psalm 103

Never confuse kindness with weakness. A parent's love should be tender but not soft.

Empathy can quickly multiply sins.

Compassion brings an end to suffering.

A Parent's Love Should Be Tender

Go to any steak house, and you will find the finest and most expensive cuts of meat near the tenderloin (filet Mignon, porterhouse, t-bone). These are juicy, slightly sweet, melt-in-your-mouth steaks with perfect marbling. Some call these the King Steaks–the cuts you impress your guests with.

So what does this have to do with Psalm 103 and, more specifically, parenting?

Well, too often, we parent like we serve steaks. We save the best cuts for guests and raise our children on cheaper roasts. What I mean is that we are naturally more tender with guests than we are with our children. Like a chuck roast (shoulder), parenting demands a lot of muscle, and this causes us to become tough rather than tender over time.

So, you're saying that tough love is bad?

It depends on how you cook it.

For one person, tough love is just good parenting. For another, it's an excuse for rudeness. It all depends on the person. You can grill a filet hot and fast, but a roast must be slow-cooked. It's the difference between meat that is naturally tender versus tough.

So, how do you tenderize your parenting?

I'm glad you asked.

1. Acknowledge Your Frame

"...for in the very best of men the Lord sees much to pity, and when they are at their best state they still need His compassion."

Even the best of parents must understand that they are, as the psalmist says, "dust" (Pslam 103:15). This dust reference is to imply our finiteness. We are limited; our knowledge is incomplete, our love is lacking, and our nature is absolutely–one hundred percent–dependent upon the Lord. This is what God "knows [about] our frame" (Psalm 103:15).

"We do not adore a god of stone,

but the living God, who is tenderness itself."

The problem with "the best of men" (and women) is that pride too quickly blinds them from seeing their own dust (trust me, I know this sin far too well). The heavy lifting in parenting often takes place before resting in the Lord. Too quickly, plans are made without prayer, and too often, days go by without tasting the "lovingkindness" of God (Psalm 103:11). Without intending to, we become like a tough piece of meat that is no longer palatable for our family.

There is a reason the sun rises and falls daily (Ecclesiastes 1:5), why the deer pants for water (Psalm 42:1), and why the Sabbath is a weekly rest from work (Exodus 23:12); we must recognize our need for God. Man has a stubborn propensity to endure without Him. Like Martha, we are distracted from Jesus by all the work (Luke 10:38-42). We are busy sweeping the dust off the kitchen floor to make the house look good when, in reality, God has come to put His house in order by dealing with His dust (you and I), and what we need to do is first sit at His feet, like Mary (Luke 10:39).

2. Feast On His Tenderness

"Biblical orthodoxy without compassion is surely the ugliest thing in the world." - Francis Schaeffer

There is a radical difference between forgiveness and forgiveness that is familiar with God's compassion. The same goes for love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22).

That is why Paul's instruction "to be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving, etc." was based upon Jesus's work.

(Examples)

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” - Ephesians 4:32

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” - Colossians 3:12-13

Paul knew that dust cannot muster compassion from itself for other dust; we might be able to impersonate it for a moment. However, Godly compassion can be expressed when dust tastes something of the divine, something of God's love.

"Compassion colored everything He did."

Returning to the meat analogy, we must recognize that we are naturally tough meat. To some degree, Parents are overworked shoulders and rounds that need to be tenderized to display God's compassion. We must be slow-cooked daily by God's love to express His character to our children.

Jesus was very familiar with the burden of people, with their helplessness. But rather than mocking or belittling them for their vices, Jesus had compassion for the people.“When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd” (Matthew 9:36)

John MacArthur once said, "Compassion colored everything He did."

Charles Spurgeon summed up Christ's character toward his people with, "He was moved with compassion" (Sermon #3438).

The problem with human compassion is that we turn it on and off like a light bulb. But Jesus' compassion is like blood constantly flowing through the entire body, serving every muscle. It has no end and holds no partiality. And this is precisely the reason we need God's compassion in order to love others.

3. Reveal His Love

"It is hard to imagine anything more tiresome and provoking than the conduct of Thomas… But it is impossible to imagine anything more patient and compassionate than our Lord’s treatment of this weak disciple… Our Lord has many weak children in His family, many dull pupils in His school, many raw soldiers in His army, many lame sheep in His flock. Yet he bears with them all and casts none away." – J.C. Ryle

Parenting has many growing pains, but none that are in vain. A child's growth and a parent's sanctification serve one another, and we must be reminded of this truth every day.

If we are to become the fathers God desires us to be–fathers who faithfully reflect God's nature to His children–we must remain children in need of our heavenly Father. To be compassionate with a child's growing pains, we must experience God's compassion toward us as sons and daughters.

What an incredible thing that God would design the sanctification of our children in partnership with the sanctification of His.

Remember:

Acknowledge your frame.
Feast on His tinderness.
Reveal His love.